i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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