omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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