but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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