I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Vodka?
Forever.
You made out with two different species that night
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
soo... how was my night?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
