It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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