Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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