I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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