so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
