Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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