you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
