the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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