Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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