i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
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Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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