you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
