I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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