and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
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Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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