the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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