So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
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I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
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No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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