i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
