worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
