a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
