We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just threw up on my dentist
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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