I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
