She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
