in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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