You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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