Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
