there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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