so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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