I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My bed smells like the plague
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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