That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
