Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
