So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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