At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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