the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My cat gives me a boner
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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