I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize