things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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