how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
