Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
