Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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