I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
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Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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