I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
tell me about the fingering
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