It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
