Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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