I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
