I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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