I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
