we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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