But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
