a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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