WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dicks are not precious.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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