sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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