he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
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The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
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Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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