there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
