I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
