I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
