Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
