just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
