sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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