He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
