he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
