You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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