This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
