he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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