You're so nebulous sometimes
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
